How do you go confidently?

Sometimes I feel this insatiable desire to go. To take off in one direction and not turn back. To explore. I want to not only see the world, but I want to experience it. I don’t consider myself a people person, but a culture person. I love seeing how others live. I love landscapes. I love consistent road trips minus bad traffic.

I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up, but one thing is certain. I want to travel. If I haven’t been there, then I probably want to go there.

In my college capstone class, my professor talked about how he was drawn to an area. He moved there, and it was cathartic to his life. He was wiped free of many inhibitions, was able to achieve goals he never thought possible, and was joyful which I think is something a large percentage of people lack. He told us that if we are drawn to an area, to go there. To just simply go. Not necessarily move there, but to just absorb that place and culture, glean from it whatever we can.

I often feel drawn to places all over the globe, and I have definitely done more travelling in the last 12 months than I have in my whole life. But what do you do when you feel drawn to move somewhere?

Do you just pick up and start over? I think I had a gypsy in my family history somewhere, maybe that’s why I feel this coursing through my arteries.

I heard this quote in high school, and it has always stuck with me.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.” Henry David Thoreau

My question is, where do you start?

 

 

 

Confessions: Why I love AND hate Facebook

image from scientiamobile

I recently deleted my Facebook account.

OK, I actually just deactivated it because I don’t know if I can make it final.

It’s kind of like breaking up with a really nice guy who you don’t really like because he’s kind of needy, smells a little funny, and over all gets on your nerves, but he buys you things and has a cute smile, and he’s always available to accompany you anywhere you want to go so you decide to keep him on the back burner.

So with my Facebook floating in limbo awaiting it’s ultimate sentence, I want to weigh in on the pros and cons of these social networking avenue.

Here are the reasons why I love Facebook.

I don’t actually have to talk to anyone to know what is going on in their lives.

I am an introvert to the core. A homebody. A loner. I’ve gone to several movies alone. I get stressed out when I have to have a long conversation with anyone. I prefer quiet, calm, and singular situations. Facebook offers a connection with my friends and acquaintances that I could only get through this social media. I can know that my friend’s getting married, the she’s gotten a new job, that she’s having a kid, that he’s moving out west, what college he’s going to, and so on it goes. I can know all of these things without the stress of actually having to talk these people. I really like that.

I can communicate with more than one person with the ease of click

If I need to invite people to a surprise birthday party for my husband, I can create a group, select who I want to invite, and send it out, receive RSVPs, and plan in ease. If I didn’t have this, I would have to spend so much time locating the mobile numbers of our friends, calling them, leaving them messages, and awaiting a response. Who wants to do that? Definitely not me because I hate, HATE, hate talking on the phone. It’s the greatest waste of time to me. The FB feature makes my life incredibly simple.

I have a place to store my photos

I take gobs of photos. I mostly store them on my computer because I have yet to purchase a computer sticky thing, a.k.a. a flash drive, that has more than 4G on it. I know. I’m so 2009, I need to update soon. But until I do, FB offers a great way for me to privately store my pictures. I don’t share but about 10% of the pictures that I actually upload to FB. I don’t really care for a bunch of people that I’m not particularly close with seeing every photo I take, so I always select the “Only me” option that FB provides. This saves a lot of space on my computer. But on the flip side. If we suffer the great internet crash of 2013, then bye bye photos.

Here are the reasons that I HATE facebook

It’s like swimming in a community pool

Who truly likes to swim in a community pool? Really? If you do, surely you must not know that most people PEE in the pool. Yep, like little fish in a lake, you are swimming in excrement. Facebook is a lot like a community pool. A lot of people feel like spewing their written excrement on their statuses.  I do not care if you’re about to go to the grocery store, gym, mall, or anywhere. That to me says “I’m not going to be at home, please come and break in to my house.” OR “I don’t have enough going on in my life to write anything meaningful so please listen to me rant about nothing”

I also don’t want to see you complain every hour about how awful your life is. Clearly it is awful because you waste your day on Facebook instead of working at your job, reading a book, or getting outside to receive some vitamin D from the sun. If you are so stinking miserable, do something about it. Because trust me, no one on FB is wanting to read about it.

However, if you really do need help. Ask for it. Don’t become the little girl who cries wolf, because no one is going to know if you really need someone or if you are being your natural whining  self drowning in self pity waiting for someone to jump into the pool so you can pull them under with you.

Also, remember when FB was for college students only? I do. I couldn’t get a FB until I became a college freshman. Now, EVERYONE can have a FB. My mom, your grandpa, OH, and you want to know the latest? I have a FB friend who created one for their toddler. YEAH, their 2 year old who can clearly use a computer, write in sentences, and upload photos has a profile. But of course. I’m sorry, I’m not a parent yet, but that’s a pedophile’s dream and a seriously TERRIBLE idea.

Politics: poli= many /tics= blood sucking vermin

I understand that we are in an election year, but I don’t care who you are voting for. I’m not really into politics and if you are that’s OK, but do not be mean about it. I’ve seen people call Obama the devil, and I’ve seen someone belligerently condemn someone for supporting Romney. You’re not winning anyone to your side by being a bully, being ignorant, or by name calling. Grow up voters and be mature enough accept that not everyone is going to agree with you.

Cyber bullying

I have not been cyber bullied. However, I am a teacher, and I have had students that have been bullied. Bullying is despicable and infuriates me as well as breaks my heart. But when you can do it anonymously, that’s extremely cowardly and unnecessary. Parents raise your kids right for heaven’s sake.

So it appears that my feelings of hate for this social outlet certainly outweigh my feelings of love. To permanently break-up or not, that is the final question.

What are your feelings about Facebook?

Wedded Bliss: Survival Guide to the First Six Months of Marriage

Marriage is a beautiful thing. Many people dream of growing up, becoming something, getting a job, AND getting married and having children. Even if you don’t  want the last two things, you’ve at least considered it even without expecting to.

I was one of those people who did NOT want to get married, and I definitely didn’t want children. Ever.

Then one day out of the  blue, a wave hit me. It overtook me and pulled me under and there was no turning back.I wanted a serious relationship, and I wanted someone very specific. And when he became available, I made myself available.

Four months after we started dating, we got engaged. Then a little over three years after that, we got hitched.

Now, six months after “I- Do,” our first year of marriage is nearly over. There are a few things that I wish others would have told me before we got married.

Your first year is not going to be that bad.

Upon getting married, your first year will be unbearably difficult. ” Also, “It will make or break you.”

These are things that I was told. These are also things that are lies. If you are smart and prepare yourself for marriage, not just for your wedding, your first year will not excruciating.

Just wait until the honeymoon phase is over.

At least for my husband and I, the honeymoon phase ended far before we got married. I heard a pastor say “Never get married until you’ve weathered at least two seasons together.” I couldn’t agree more. We all go through phases and seasons through our lives, and it’s in times of difficultly when our true character is revealed.

My husband and I faced two car wrecks, some unexpected legal trouble, my battle with chronic depression, watching the health of my beloved grandparents wither, a few different jobs, AND living at least two hours away from each other for over half of our engagement. We were over the honeymoon phase a long time ago. By the time we got married, we knew how the other handled tough situations and we still wanted to marry each other.

Not that the honeymoon phase is bad, you just need to know that marriage is not all daisies and sausages and be sure that you are prepared for when the fire comes.

Expectations. Expectations. Expectations.

I would recommend getting pre marriage counseling. You will be asked questions that you probably haven’t thought of, like “Why are marrying this person?”

“What is your definition of love?”

“How do you know that you can commit to a lifetime with this person?”

“Do you want children?”

“What do you expect from your spouse?” Yes, there are things that you expect from your spouse even if you do not realize it. For instance, “I can’t wait to get married so that we can have sex all of the time.” Expectation here is “I want a lot of sex.” Your spouse may not want that, so there will have to be a compromise. Or “I expect that all dirty clothing makes from the body to the hamper.” You might be marrying someone who is used to piling them on the floor.

Discuss these things no matter how small or insignificant they may seem.

Make New Discoveries

After getting married, continue to get to know each other. Go on dates, ask questions, try new things. My husband and I found out that we love to read together on a trip to Florida. I had just bought The Hunger Games (Spoiler alert, it’s a pretty great series), and we took turns reading it aloud until we finished the series. This is something that we never did pre-marriage and really enjoy doing.
Be Kind

In my wedding vows I told my husband that I would actively love him even when I didn’t like him. There are so many times that we do not like our spouses, but that is usually short lived. In those times, be kind. Your words and actions if hurtful can take years to take back.