Pregnancy Fears….

Pregnancy is a joyful time, right? It’s also incredibly terrifying.

I am overwrought at the thought of labor. It is the exciting climax of this wearisome journey, but it’s coupled with the worst pain that I will ever experience.

Panic-stricken sums up the way I feel most nights when I am about to fall asleep. Visions of severe contractions, episiotomies, mean doctors and nurses, violent, bloody, beyond excruciating pain, not to mention the looming fear of being forced to have a C-Section. Oi ve.

I know that the movies do not accurately portray labor, and the one hundred births I’ve watched through documentaries leave me swollen with joy, tears streaming down my cheeks, under the impression that this is the most elite and beautiful experience that any person can have the pleasure of pushing through. But sights of being purple faced, breaking my husbands fingers, and screaming my head off still haunt my thoughts.

I am petrified of becoming a fat lard.

Clearly you gain weight while you are pregnant, of that I am well aware. However, I am breathless at the thought of becoming so large that I waddle around the house searching for my cat only to find that my butt crack has swallowed him when I last sat down on the couch. Or more realistically, I am afraid of becoming unrecognizable, being so large that even my nose is fat.

Beyond my vanity, I am terrified that my weight will become so much that I’ll do damage to myself or baby. THAT is what petrifies me far more than getting cellulite and stretch marks.

I am scared that I will be a terrible parent. My parents were not the worst by any means, but I will certainly do a lot of things differently. However, I am afraid that that will not work either, and I’ll be the worst mother ever in history.

I am scared that my marriage will be negatively affected by baby. I am not naive to the fact that things will be different, but I am afraid that I will not be able to handle being both a mom and a wife.

These are only a few fears I have, I’m sure that some will fade while others linger.

What have been some of your fears? What has been your realities?


15 thoughts on “Pregnancy Fears….

  1. Wow girl. We should talk. I.don’t have ages of experience but I do have a little over 6 years on me along with the freshness of a 7 month old 🙂

  2. I can relate…somewhat. At first, the thought of a natural birth scared me so much that I didn’t want to do it. Terrified!!! Now, at 36 weeks, I’m not afraid…I’m just ready to get this baby OUT!!! Lol.

    • I’m just so afraid of the unknown about labor. I can watch documentaries on births all day long but I still don’t know what it’ll be like for me! You’re getting so close! That’s exciting!

  3. I can relate…somewhat. At first, the thought of a natural birth scared me so much that I didn’t want to do it. Terrified!!! Now, at 36 weeks, I’m not afraid…I’m just ready to get this baby OUT!!! Lol.

  4. I’m not sure I get this. I hope when you become a parent you realize yours did the best they could. I hope when you become a parent your issues with weight and food are diminished somewhat by the life God entrusted to you. I also hope that what I’m reading as a blog post wrought with ungrateful, selfishness is really just private foolish fears expressed for the world to see.

    • I assume that you’ve never been pregnant by your total lack of sensitivity and the fact that you’re “not sure you get this.” I am fully aware that my parents did the best they could. Most people, my own mother included, would agree that they want to try parenting a little differently than their parents did. I’m not expecting to be perfect, and I do not hold others to a perfect standard. However, it is a legitimate fear to be afraid of wrecking your child’s life beyond repair. If I was not afraid of ruining it, I would appear that I have arrived, which I know that I never will. This fear will give me the fire to constantly strive to give more of myself away to this little treasure that I know I do not deserve. Babies change your body. This is not big news. It is also scary to have something that you’ve been used to to change. I don’t think that I’m going to transform into a sumo wrestler like I was picturing in my head yesterday, but I do want to gain the right amount of weight whatever that is because too much can cause health issues. If in fact you read my post you would have read that that is what I am most concerned with. As far as being selfish, I know I am at times. This is my first child, and I’m having to let go of the remnants of my former life to embrace this new, exciting, challenging, and scary new life. I feel that any woman has the right to be afraid. As far as being ungrateful, you’re just wrong. I was given a very small percentage of ever being able to get pregnant, so ungrateful is not something that I am. I am beyond thankful and completely scared out of my mind most days. I hope that what I’m reading as a hurtful, judgmental comment is nothing more than misunderstanding. I hope that if one day you have the pleasure of becoming a parent, that you are not plagued with as many fears as I am, and if you’re already a parent I congratulate you on overcoming the odds and being the bravest woman alive. Thanks for reading!

      • No one should ever be so malicious and mean-spirited toward a pregnant lady. Fatima, I don’t even know you, yet I have much respect for you. You are right, every woman has the right to be scared during pregnancy, and with that right no one else has the right to degrade or belittle you. Pregnancy, though common, is a unique experience for every woman. I admire you for being honest and forthright about how you feel because the truth is, most pregnant women have the same fears, and it takes guts to be able to speak out about them. You will do a wonderful job. May God’s peace surround you.

      • Ginny,
        I really appreciate your kind encouragement. I wholeheartedly believe that God’s peace will comfort me, and his light will guide me. Best wishes to you on your life journey!

    • This is the most ignorant comment I’ve read in a while. Bullying anyone, especially those who are scared is not pleasing to God. Pregnancy is a very exciting time, but it is also very scary if you’ve never been through it before. Her fears are not foolish, and if she wants to share with the world how she feels, then there is no need to keep them private. I felt the exact same way when I was pregnant, but I had no one to talk to who understood me. My husband didn’t get it, and my mom was not around. It wasn’t until I talked with other women did I realize that my fears were not stupid. So Fatima, rock on. It’s ok to be scared, but I think you’ll handle all of this really well because you aren’t scared to share with others about your experience. Thank you for your transparency. I love reading your posts.

      • Hailey,

        Thank you for reading. Everyone is entitled to their opinion even if it’s very differing from our own, full of disdain, or unflattering. We must all conclude that it’s impossible to form a proper opinion of someone else until really we truly know who they are, and choose to be respectful no matter what. I do appreciate your encouragement, and I agree that it’s OK to be afraid. The Lord is so faithful to draw near to those who are fearful and is a solid rock to lean on when anxiety hits. Thanks again for reading and for sharing your thoughts.

  5. Sweetheart, your fears are completely legitimate. Do not let hateful people bring you down. Everyone’s pregnancy and birth experience is different, and every pregnant woman is afraid of different things along her journey. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there, be vulnerable, and actually admit that you’re scared. There is nothing wrong with your fears. You will overcome them with time.

    • Thank you for your kindness! I do feel a bit ridiculous for having so many fears at times, but I know that it’s normal. Having kind words from people like you are greatly appreciated and treasured close to my heart.

  6. Sweetheart, you are the most courageous woman I know. You strive everyday to serve God and the others around you diligently. First to arrive and the last to leave, you have shown yourself to be a woman of incredible integrity. I am so fortunate to call you my wife! You are a part of something beautiful yet scary, and God understands that better than anyone. He will give you what you need to see this through. I firmly believe that you can do anything in this life, including bringing our firstborn into this world. You are the most beautiful woman, and I sure hope our kids get your good looks 🙂

    • Thanks for reading, babe! Your support means so much to me always. I’m so blessed to be able to share a life with you and to explore the new world of parenthood by your side. You mean so much to me, and I am incredibly thankful for all you do. P.S. I hope they get your good looks!!

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