How to make friends postpartum

Being a mom and being social is just difficult.

I see some moms who are social champions. They attend every MOPs meeting, go to weekly stroller workouts, keep up with their blogs, hang out with their girlfriends, and manage to look fierce doing so.

I on the other hand do well to wear something other than yesterday’s yoga pants that I did not do yoga in, wash my hair, take the laundry out of the washer that has been washed three times in the last four days because I keep forgetting about it and it insists on harboring that lovely scent of mildew, oh and feeding my cat and myself.

Attending a social gathering is not something that I can do well at this time, but I cannot help but feel lonely sometimes. I am absolutely mad about spending my everyday all day with my sweet little, but there is something about adult conversation that I desperately crave. I try my best to touch base with what few friends I have every couple of weeks, but if I have trouble finishing my laundry in a timely fashion, then I am going to have problems keeping in constant contact with people that I truly do care about.

When I was pregnant, I prepared myself mostly for labor, and somewhat for the postpartum me. However, I did not plan on dealing with how hard it is to find time to spend with friends or even just how awkward it can be when I do. I am aggravatingly shy to the bone, so I already have a difficult time starting and continuing conversations with people, even those I know well. However, now I have become so used to people admiring and falling all over the baby, that it’s hard for me to step out from behind her shadow and talk about something other than her.

I like being able to sit her in my lap and have people talk all about her and focus solely on her. Most people don’t really care about me, and I am actually OK with that. But when I am around people who don’t really want to talk all about my baby because they have a child around the same age or simply because they don’t really know anything about babies, I am kind of at a loss for what to say because my world stopped in July, and everything between delivery and right now has been all about taking care of my child. When I do try to be social, it is exhausting.

So how do you make friends after having a baby? How do you maintain friendships? I am all to familiar with outgrowing friends, but is there a way to avoid that after a baby comes?

Do any other mamas feel like this? What do you do?


2 thoughts on “How to make friends postpartum

  1. I certainly don’t have a solution, but I feel your pain. I’m even a crazy outgoing person and sometimes I feel like I’m losing friends and/our outings because of the babies. I certainly wouldn’t change it, but its quite an adjustment. I try to set up “play dates” if I can or even lunch with just my friend and I, leaving the twins with Bryan. I try to sent text messages if nothing else, but there are definitely people I’m losing touch with…..

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