The news is splashed with the devastating truth that one of America’s most beloved actors, Robin Williams, has died of an apparent suicide. This shakes me to my core, because this topic is still so raw to my heart.
I am not a doctor, a mental health professional, or even a counselor of any sort. I find my knowledge best lies on the other side of the couch where I spent countless hours picking my cuticles, hot tears billowing down my cheeks, barely able to whisper the words “I just want to die” to someone I barely knew.
I know your story is different than mine, and I will not even do you the disservice of pretending to fully understand what you are going through. There may have been a particular event in your life that spawned your depression, or maybe you’re like me and look back over your life and can’t really remember a time when you weren’t depressed. Whatever the situation, you’re to your breaking point, and that my friend is where you need to step back from.
You may feel like no one cares, no one sees you, no one hears you. You may have had people scream at you “You’re just being selfish.” In a way you are, but that’s not how you see it. You believe that they’d be better off without you, that this world wouldn’t even miss you, life would go on as it already is even if you weren’t there.
This is a lie.
Maybe you see the horrible things of this world and can’t bare the pain that is caused by it, whatever your reason, You are needed. You are wanted. You have something to offer this world.
The ripple of your departure would affect people you don’t even know. Just like a drop in the center of a pond moves the water on the edges, so would your death by your hand rock people that you do not even know are watching you.
There is absolutely no shame in getting help. I know you probably don’t think you need it, but take it from me, you do. If you’re reading this and see someone slipping beneath the waves, pick them up. Do not just stand there and let them drown.
I would have went under and been lost at sea had my fiance’ not taken a stand and firmly and gently guided me to safe harbor. It wasn’t easy, and was excruciating at times, but it is worth it. YOU ARE WORTH IT.
The answer to your despair is not on the other end of a gun, the bottom of a pill bottle, or hanging from a noose, and honestly I can’t tell you where it is. But your life is precious. You do matter. You are seen. You are loved.
You’re probably not an uber celebrity like Robin Williams, but this world would seriously not be the same without you. Do not give up without a fight!
“This pain that you’ve been feeling, can’t compare to the joy that is coming..” Romans 8:18
Need someone to talk to call 1-800-273-8255 or visit the suicidepreventionlifeline